In Ecuador buses are by far the most popular form of transportation. In a country only about the size of Colorado you might think that would be convenient. However, because of the extreme geographic diversity it is entirely possible to hop on a bus at the north end of the country and drive for twenty hours over mountain peaks and through deep valleys without even coming close to the southern boarder. Luckily Ecuadorian buses are also extremely entertaining. Imagine combining a roller coaster with an open air auction and a live infomercial.
After swearing in on April 22, which fittingly enough also happened to be earth day, I headed out east to the Amazon. The bus ride from Quito is several hours of descending through increasingly beautiful scenery. You drive past towering mountains with plots of farm land clinging to steep slopes in haphazard checkerboards, through misty cloud forests and finally into the rich green humidity of the Amazon.
Along the way a parade of vendors roam the aisles selling potato chips, lemonade, empanadas and bags of tropical fruit. Ocasionally a passanger inspired in a moment of religious fervor will stand up and deliver a half hour sermon at maximum value.
At one point a guy came on the bus to sell a lovely new invention. A belt with a hidden zipper on the back where you can store up to forty folded bills without anyone knowing! Another ambitious salesman explained that if you´re a woman and you keep your cell phone in your bra when it rings you´ll get breast cancer and if you´re a man don´t keep your phone in your pocket because it will give you prostate cancer. Luckily for only one dollar he will sell you a special charm to attach to your phone that will block these cancer waves.
For the grand finale just as we were nearing the end of the trip a man boarded the bus carrying a baby monkey no tricks or trinkets he just wanted to take his pet monkey along for a ride.
It'll be hard to scare you after that! You'd scoff at the most frightening roller coasters on earth.
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